2.2 Barriers to Emotional Management

 We know the benefits of Emotional Management. However, we also discover the barriers to developing this vital skill.

If we can work through these few barriers and hurdles, our ability to relate, communicate and handle difficult situations will significantly enhance.

First, the lack of emotional vocabulary may contribute to emotional illiteracy.  Without the basic building blocks of labeling and recognizing our different emotions, we are like students entering university without the necessary knowledge or managing time and study.

Second, the lack of awareness of our bodily sensations.  It will be challenging for those who are cut off or disconnected from their body signals to comprehend emotions.  Emotions are often manifested through our bodily senses.  Labeling emotions while linking them to physical signs is essential in expressing our feelings.

Third, the lack of constructive expressions or receptions through words and conversations.  Words in conversations entail putting a complex experience into an understandable means that ourselves and others can understand.  Moreover, when others hear our feelings, they can relate and respond appropriately.  In other words, if we do not have an appropriate response, we may not be willing to share again.  We need emotionally responsive and mature people to listen and reflect on our expressed feelings.  We can then become comfortable in expressing our emotions constructively.

Finally, our relationships' lack of safety may hinder our ability to manage emotions.  As a result of past hurts, pain, and trauma, we do not feel safe to express.  Although we may be aware of our feelings, we are afraid to speak them.  After a while, emotions accumulate and explode.   We may even feel so unsafe that we block out all access and feel numb.  Once we sense danger, we lose control.  Our emotions throw us into a tailspin.  We need help to work through these hurts, pains, and trauma. 

Emotional Management is a skill we all want in this time of abrupt changes.  We will do well if we work this through step by step by developing expressive vocabularies, learn to listen to our bodily signals, develop constructive expressions and work through our hurts and traumas.